This article deals with a mode of epistolary politeness that marks a special category of ritual language use. Examples are taken from the correspondence between Hooft and Huygens, two notable representatives of the Dutch Republic’s cultural elite. It is established, first, that the notions and methods of the modern language-and-politeness paradigm are well-suited tools for exploring politeness phenomena occurring in seventeenth-century Dutch. Then it is argued that negatively polite ostentation is by and large a ritual affair, as this is generally a game, rather than earnestly paying deference. As regards the issue of playful make-believe politeness, it will be contended that early modern society was quite preoccupied with various genres of “deceit”, artistic and otherwise.