The study of politeness can be theoretically separated into the analysis of social indices, social tactics, and persuasion. The present study examines how this distinction takes shape in the acts of children, aged 2 through 11, intended to control the behavior of others. By three, the children differentiated addressees and owners of desired goods by formal features; by four they attempted to remedy failures through social tactics and justifications, and by five they increased politeness in correlation with costs of demands or intrusiveness. These tactics clearly diminished in older children. Since politeness resulted in a higher adult refusal rate, polite forms by the young children to adults cannot be considered to be directly related to, or learned from, success in persuasion.