This paper provides an account of antipodean swearing patterns, drawing on examples from existing written and spoken data banks. As part of this investigation, it considers general questions to do with swearing: what it is, why speakers do it and how swearing patterns have changed over the years. The paper identifies four overlapping functions of swearing: the expletive, abusive, social and stylistic functions. It also considers the shift in social attitudes toward swearing and the repercussions of this for the law. Swearing has always been characterized as an earmark of Australian and New Zealand English. The paper concludes that it remains an important feature of these varieties, but question just how uniquely antipodean it is.