Drawing on recent work on digital narratives of personal experience in online genres such as email, social networking sites, and blogs, the present study explores narrative features in 100 online consumer reviews of hotels. Focusing on negative reviews, or “Rants,“ from popular consumer travel platform, TripAdvisor, the article examines both canonical and genre-specific structural features of narratives, as well as some of the discursive resources used by online narrators to engage their audiences, and to draw them into their stories. Specifically, the study explores the use of story prefaces and related forms of second person address, represented speech and mental states, and deictic shifts, and suggests that narrative features such as these are useful in attracting the attention of an audience amidst a vast universe of online information.