Young people may face conflicting and confusing messages about what it means to respond well in relation to homophobia and transphobia. Consequently, it is asked: What might it mean to respond well to homophobia and transphobia? This strategy, inspired by Anika Thiem and Judith Butler, is recognition of the ambivalent conditions which structure efforts to respond well to bullying linked to gender and sexuality. Such an approach is counter to educational responses that propose a remedy in advance of the enactment of perceived bullying. This article draws on research conducted by the authors in four such schools, two in Australia and two in Aotearoa/New Zealand. It is a deliberate turn away from centering on who should be held to account for homophobia and transphobia.