Faetar is an under-documented variety springing from Francoprovençal and spoken in two secluded Apulian villages in southern Italy as well as in the emigrant diaspora, particularly in the Greater Toronto Area. By collating the patterns of use in France, Italy, and Toronto, and employing sources that span almost a century, this paper shows that despite the very wee size of its speech community, Faetar displays little sign of adjusting to English’s virtually categorical presence of subject pronouns, nor to Italian’s high null subject rate, nor to the conditioning effects found in those languages.