This paper focusses on the role of women within the Homeric household (?????, “oikos”) as related to politeness. The social balance of the household has its fulcrum in the relation between the householder and his wife, and the latter has a crucial role in preserving the face of her husband and hence his authority in the “oikos”. In practice, to preserve his public image within the “oikos”, householders delegate a core part of their authority to their wives, and in exchange of this wife-characters such as Penelope or the goddess Hera are keen always to stage the subaltern role, which women have in the Homeric society. The paper compares specific examples of similar politeness strategies to the behaviour of Helen in Book 6 of the Iliad (321–356). Helen enacts a reverse politeness strategy aiming to make her husband Paris’s face collapse in front of Hector. By combining Erving Goffman’s concepts of “face” and “social situation” and the Homeric values of ???? (“tim?”) and ????? (“aid?s”) into a framework for studying politeness in the epics, it becomes possible to shed light on the real power balance that – underneath the veil of politeness – characterises the relationship between the householder and his wife in the Homeric “oikos”. The Iliad and the Odyssey are rich in paradigmatic scenes that provide useful insights regarding Greek social behaviour. This paper addresses specific archaic Greek rules of politeness concerning one of the most important social contexts in the Homeric epics, namely the household (Greek: oikos). Grounded on a comprehensive definition of politeness as a body of inter-relational rules shared within a society or social group that define behavioural models appropriate for different social situations (see Lakoff 1990:?34; Ehlich 2005 [1992]:?75–76; Picard 1995:?10; Watts 2008:?105–107), its aim is to include linguistic considerations into a broader socio-historical interpretation of the phenomenon within the ancient Greek culture. The chosen case study is the politeness of the Homeric householder’s wife during interactions with her husband. In what follows, politeness strategies adopted by wife-characters, such as Penelope and the goddess Hera towards their husbands, will be compared with a passage from the Iliad concerning Helen of Troy (6.321–356). Helen and her husband, the Trojan prince Paris, are sitting together in their ??????? (“thalamos”, ‘bedroom’). Hector, the leader of the Trojan army, suddenly breaks into the room and urges his younger brother to join the fighting. Hector directs harsh words at Paris which, spoken in the very heart of the “oikos”, constitute a violent affront. In response, Paris asks for the help of Helen, trusting her to protect his positive face of a courageous warrior. However, Helen sides with Hector and, by way of a long (and explicitly masculine) speech addressed to her brother-in-law, she not only humiliates Paris, but also manages to subvert the power balance of the social situation. Before addressing this scene in further detail, this paper accounts for the method adopted throughout this paper to interpret ancient Greek politeness.