Storying the heartbreak
The transformational processing of romantic breakups
We examined narratives of romantic breakups (i.e., breakup accounts) in relation to romantic attachment
tendencies. In Study 1, participants provided accounts of difficult breakups and indicated who in the relationship initiated its dissolution. In Study 2, participants provided breakup accounts from the perspective of the initiator and the non-initiator. Breakup
accounts were coded for levels of exploration (active reflection of the narrated experience) and resolution (emotional closure and
a sense of resiliency). Across studies, levels of resolution were highest in self-initiated, when compared to other-initiated,
breakup accounts. In Study 2, avoidant attachment correlated negatively with levels of resolution in self-initiated, but not
other-initiated, breakup accounts. These results suggest that avoidantly attached individuals narrate self-initiated breakups in a
less thoroughly processed manner than their secure peers, and that these differences in transformational processing may carry
implications for romantic domain functioning.
Article outline
- Storying the heartbreak: The transformational processing of breakup accounts
- Sense making: A story-based enterprise
- Transformational processing
- Storying the heartbreak
- Asymmetry in the breakup experience
- Functioning, by way of romantic attachment styles
- Narrative identity, attachment styles, and relationalism
- The present studies
- Study 1
- Method
- Participants and procedure
- Conceptual coding of breakup accounts
- Results
- Breakup role and transformational processing
- Breakup accounts and adult romantic attachment styles
- Discussion
- Study 2
- Participants and procedure
- Results and discussion
- General discussion
- Transformational processing and breakup role
- Breakup accounts and attachment styles
- Limitations and future directions
- Notes
-
References
References
Adler, J. M., Dunlop, W., Fivush, R., Lilgendahl, J. P., Lodi-Smith, J., Mcadams, D. P., … Syed, M.
(
2017)
Research Methods for Studying Narrative Identity: A Primer.
Baerger, D. R., & McAdams, D. P.
Bauer, J. J., & McAdams, D. P.
(
2004)
Personal growth in adults’ stories of life transitions.
Journal of Personality, 721, 573–602.
Bauer, J. J., McAdams, D. P., & Sakaeda, A. R.
(
2005)
Interpreting the good life: Growth Memories in the lives of mature, happy people.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 881, 203–217.
Baumeister, R. F., Stillwell, A., & Wotman, S. R.
(
1990)
Victim and perpetrator accounts of interpersonal conflict: Autobiographical narratives about anger.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 591, 994–1005.
Boals, A., & Klein, K.
(
2005)
Word use in emotional narratives about failed romantic relationships and subsequent mental health.
Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 241, 252–268.
Bourassa, K. J., Manvelian, A., Boals, A., Mehl, M. R., & Sbarra, D. A.
(
2017)
Tell me a story: The creation of narrative as a mechanism of psychological recovery following marital separation.
Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 361, 359–379.
Bruner, J. S.
(
1990)
Acts of meaning. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Buhrmester, M., Kwang, T., & Gosling, S. D.
(
2011)
Amazon’s Mechanical Turk: A new source of inexpensive, yet high-quality, data? Perspectives on Psychological Science, 61, 3–5.
Campbell, L., Simpson, J. A., Boldry, J., & Kashy, D. A.
(
2005)
Perceptions of conflict and support in romantic relationships: The role of attachment anxiety.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 881, 510–531.
Cohler, B. J.
(
1982)
Personal narrative and the life course. In
P. Bakes &
O. G. Brim Jr. (Eds.),
Life Span Development and Behavior (pp. 205–241). New York: Academic Press.
Davis, D., Shaver, P. R., & Vernon, M. L.
(
2003)
Physical, emotional, and behavioral reactions to breaking up: The roles of biological sex, age, emotional involvement, and attachment style.
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 291, 871–884.
Dunlop, W. L.
(
2017)
The Narrative Identity Structure Model (NISM).
Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 37(2), 153–177.
Dunlop, W. L.
(
2015)
Contextualized personality, beyond traits.
European Journal of Personality, 291, 310–325.
Dunlop, W. L., & Tracy, J. L.
(
2013)
Sobering stories: Narratives of self-redemption predict behavioral change and improved health among recovering alcoholics.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1041, 576–590.
Dunlop, W. L., Hanley, G. E., McCoy, T. P., & Harake, N. R.
(
2017)
Sticking to the (Romantic) Script: An Examination of Love Life Scripts, Stories, and Self-Reports of Normality.
Memory, 251, 1444–1454.
Dunlop, W. L., Hanley, G. E., & McCoy, T. P.
(
2019)
The narrative psychology of love lives. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(3), 761-784.
Dunlop, W. L., Walker, L. J., & Wiens, T. K.
(
2013)
What Do We Know When We Know a Person Across Contexts? Examining Self-Concept Differentiation at the Three Levels of Personality.
Journal of Personality, 811, 376–389.
Dunlop, W. L., Walker, L. J., & Wiens, T. K.
(
2014)
The nature of professional and relational self-aspects at the goal and narrative levels of personality.
British Journal of Social Psychology, 531, 595–604.
Dunlop, W. L., Walker, L. J., Hanley, G. E., & Harake, N.
(
2016)
The Psychosocial Construction of Parenting: An Examination of Parenting Goals and Narratives in Relation to Well-Being.
Journal of Happiness Studies, 181, 1729–1745.
Fivush, R. & Graci, M.
(
2017)
Autobiographical memory. In
J. Wixted (Ed.).
Learning and Memory: A Comprehensive Reference 2nd edition (pp. 119–135). Elsevier.
Fox, J., & Tokunaga, R. S.
(
2015)
Romantic Partner Monitoring After Breakups: Attachment, Dependence, Distress, and Post-Dissolution Online Surveillance via Social Networking Sites.
Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 181, 491–498.
Fraley, R. C., Garner, J. P., & Shaver, P. R.
(
2000)
Adult attachment and the defensive regulation of attention and memory: Examining the role of preemptive and postemptive defensive processes.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 791, 816–826.
Fraley, R. C., & Shaver, P. R.
(
2000)
Adult romantic attachment: Theoretical developments, emerging controversies, and unanswered questions.
Review of General Psychology, 41, 132–154.
Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A.
(
2000)
An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 781, 350–365.
Frazier, P. A., & Cook, S. W.
(
1993)
Correlates of distress following heterosexual relationship dissolution.
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 101, 55–67.
Graci, M. E., & Fivush, R.
(
2016)
Narrative meaning making, attachment, and psychological growth and stress.
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 341, 486–509.
Hill, C. T., Rubin, Z., & Peplau, L. A.
(
1976)
Breakups before marriage: The end of 103 affairs.
Journal of Social Issues, 321, 147–168.
Hopper, J.
(
1993)
The rhetoric of motives in divorce.
Journal of Marriage and the Family, 551, 801–813.
Hopper, J.
(
2001)
The symbolic origins of conflict in divorce.
Journal of Marriage and Family, 631, 430–445.
Jones, B. K., Destin, M., & McAdams, D. P.
(
2018)
Telling better stories: Competence-building narrative themes increase adolescent persistence and academic achievement.
Journal of Experimental Psychology, 761, 76–80.
King, L. A., & Raspin, C.
(
2004)
Lost and found possible selves, subjective well-being, and ego development in divorced women.
Journal of Personality, 721, 603–632.
King, L. A., Scollon, C. K., Ramsey, C., & Williams, T.
(
2000)
Stories of life transition: Subjective well-being and ego development in parents of children with down syndrome.
Journal of Research in Personality, 341, 509–536.
Li, T., & Chan, D. K.
(
2012)
How anxious and avoidant attachment affect romantic relationship quality differently: A meta-analytic review.
European Journal of Social Psychology, 421, 406–419.
Main, M.
(
1995)
Recent studies in attachment: Overview, with selected implications for clinical work. In
S. Goldberg,
R. Nuir, and
J. Kerr (Eds.),
Attachment Theory: Social, Developmental and Clinical Perspectives (pp. 407–74). Hillsdale, NJ: Analytic Press.
Mansfield, C. D.
(
2015)
Do different types of negative events lead to distinct adaptive functioning threats? Doctoral dissertation University of Utah.
Maruna, S.
(
2001)
Making good: How ex-convicts reform and rebuild their lives. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
McAdams, D. P.
(
1995)
What do we know when we know a person? Journal of Personality, 631, 365–396.
McAdams, D. P.
(
2013)
The psychological self as actor, agent, and author.
Perspectives on Psychological Science, 81, 272–295.
McLean, K. C., Pasupathi, M., Greenhoot, A. F., & Fivush, R.
(
2017)
Does intra-individual variability in narration matter and for what? Journal of Research in Personality, 691, 55–66.
Mikulincer, M., Gillath, O., Halevy, V., Avihou, N., Avidan, S., & Eshkoli, N.
(
2001)
Attachment theory and reactions to others’ needs: Evidence that activation of the sense of attachment security promotes empathic responses.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 811, 1205–1224.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R.
(
2007)
Boosting attachment security to promote mental health, prosocial values, and inter-group tolerance.
Psychological Inquiry, 181, 139–156.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R.
(
2017)
Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Pals, J. L.
(
2006a)
Authoring a second chance in life: Emotion and transformational processing within narrative identity.
Research in Human Development, 31, 101–120.
Pals, J. L.
(
2006b)
Narrative identity processing of difficult life experiences: Pathways of personality development and positive self-transformation in adulthood.
Journal of Personality, 741, 1079–1109.
Pasupathi, M., Billitteri, J., Mansfield, C. D., Wainryb, C., Hanley, G. E., & Taheri, K.
(
2015)
Regulating emotion and identity by narrating harm.
Journal of Research in Personality, 581, 127–136.
Perilloux, C., & Buss, D. M.
(
2008)
Breaking up romantic relationships: Cost experienced and coping strategies deployed.
Evolutionary Psychology, 61, 164–181.
Pettit, E. J., & Bloom, B. L.
(
1984)
Whose decision was it? The effects of initiator status on adjustment to marital disruption.
Journal of Marriage and the Family, 461, 587–595.
Riessman, C. K.
(
1990)
Divorce Talk: Women and Men Make Sense of Personal Relationships. New Brunswick: Rutgers University Press.
Sarbin, T. R.
(
2004)
The role of imagination in narrative construction. In
C. Daiute &
C. Lightfoot (Eds.),
Narrative analysis: Studying the development of individuals in society (pp. 5–20). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
Simpson, J. A.
(
1990)
Influence of attachment styles on romantic relationships.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 591, 971–980.
Simpson, J. A., Ickes, W., & Grich, J.
(
1999)
When accuracy hurts: Reactions of anxious-ambivalent dating partners to a relationship-threatening situation.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 761, 754–769.
Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S., & Phillips, D.
(
1996)
Conflict in close relationships: An attachment perspective.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71(5), 899–914.
Slotter, E. B., & Ward, D. E.
(
2015)
Finding the silver lining: The relative roles of redemptive narratives and cognitive reappraisal in individuals’ emotional distress after the end of a romantic relationship.
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 321, 737–756.
Sprecher, S.
(
1994)
Two sides to the breakup of dating relationships.
Personal Relationships, 11, 199–222.
Tashiro, T., & Frazier, P.
(
2003)
“I’ll never be in a relationship like that again”: Personal growth following romantic relationship breakups.
Personal Relationships, 101, 113–128.
Treboux, D., Crowell, J., and Waters, E.
(
2004)
When ‘new’ meets ‘old’: Configurations of adult attachment representations and their implications for marital functioning.
Developmental Psychology, 401, 295–314.
Vaughan, D.
(
1986)
Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships. New York: Vintage Books.
Weiss, R. S.
(
1975)
Marital separation. New York: Basic Books, Inc.
Cited by
Cited by 1 other publications
Wilkinson, Dulce E. & William L. Dunlop
2021.
Both sides of the story: Narratives of romantic infidelity.
Personal Relationships 28:1
► pp. 121 ff.
This list is based on CrossRef data as of 10 april 2022. Please note that it may not be complete. Sources presented here have been supplied by the respective publishers.
Any errors therein should be reported to them.